The Journey

Chapter 7

Will A. Sanborn

9/23 - 10/21/94

"Good morning Ben," Marissa purrs gently in my ear. Feeling her warmth pressing softly against me under the sheets, I open my eyes to be greeted by her smiling visage; a grin playing across her muzzle, her green eyes regarding my warmly.

"Good morning," I smile, then quickly lean over to kiss her gently, my hands playing down the furry contours of her back.

Disengaging slowly from the kiss, she replies "we need to get going... We've lost a full day, and should get back on the road soon." Then grinning at my noticeable disappointment, she finishes, "besides, there'll be plenty of time for more of that later..."

After playfully bathing one another, I slowly dry her off with a big fluffy towel, marveling once again at the fur beneath my fingers. Like before, during the rainstorm, her fur looks a little strange when wet, as it plasters slightly against her, but it's in no way unattractive. Enjoying the task of toweling her off, she is soon fairly dry, but the motions of the towel have severely mussed up her fur.

Seeing her standing before me, with her fur puffed out in its state of disarray, I stifle a giggle at her almost comical appearance. She flashes me a confused look, and I quickly apologize. "I'm sorry Marissa... it's just that you look so different with your fur like that... I'd never thought about how it would look after getting it wet... I didn't mean to laugh at you..."

"It's okay, your looks still surprise me some too... although, now I appreciate just how unique you are..."

Beaming at this, "would you like me to help you groom?"

"Yes, that would be wonderful... It's always easier with someone else, especially on the back."

Taking her brush, and slowly working it through her fur, brushing out the tangles, she begins to purr. Running the brush down her back, in small, tight strokes, her purrs pick up volume, rumbling deeply through her. Leaning against her slightly, snaking my arm around in front, I lightly rub her belly, as I continue grooming her back. At this she turns her head, looking at me with deep adoration, her face a mask of pure contentment, as she continues to purr deeply against me.

Finishing her back, I quickly and thoroughly brush her legs and feet, before turning back to her tail and hind-quarters. Lavishing my attention on her tail, I slowly brush along its entire length. Her purrs deepen even more while I'm doing this, as she hikes her hips back and up slightly, following the flow of my brush strokes.

Enjoying the effect my ministrations are having on her, I finish the job, and eagerly walk around in front. Throwing my hand around her waist, grabbing her firmly, bringing my lips to hers, we share another deep kiss, feeling her furry body purr against me.

Letting the kiss die down slowly, she then pulls away, looking at me, and noticing my obvious eagerness. "Ben, we don't really have time for this... We should get going as soon as we can..."

Looking at her crestfallen, she gives me a warm and understanding look, then continuing softly. "I know how much you'd like to... and I do too, but we've already lost a lot of time... and I'd like to get out of here as soon as possible... I promise, we'll have fun tonight... Okay?"

Disengaging myself from her, and nodding disappointedly, I mumble "okay" somewhat grudgingly.

Softly stroking my side, "come on Ben... you can wait that long can't you," flashing me a gentle smile. "I just don't want to spend the time it would take to do a thorough job right now..."

I'm forced to grin back slightly at this, still feeling a little disappointed, but also appreciating the humor. Seeing my smile, she continues, "that's better... It'll be worth waiting for... Thanks for grooming me, it felt wonderful... but I'd better take care of the front myself... Otherwise you'll have us here all morning..."

We both break into a small case of the giggles at this, enjoying the warmth of our closeness with one another. As our chuckles die down, she slowly lets go from me, and steps back. Surrendering the brush to her, she begins to slowly brush the fur of her arms.

Watching her as she deftly maneuvers the brush through her mussy fur, I stand there gazing at her exotic beauty, awash with adoration and excitement. Noticing the effect her grooming is having on me, she grins broadly, flashing me a devilish smile. Then stepping back even further, and putting on a show of it, she thoroughly tackles her arms and legs, then slowly running the brush through the fur of her chest, abdomen and belly.

Driving me crazy, she teases me for several minutes, while I watch, my gaze locked on her, my eyes probably glazing over, with a silly grin washed across my face. Then finishing the job, she quickly and deftly tackles the fur of her face and her hair, until she is once again in a state of pristine appearance.

Placing the brush down on the table, she walks slowly toward me. Reaching out her arms, she grabs me on the shoulder, pulling me toward her, locking her muzzle to my lips. Giving me a quick, deep kiss, she pulls away just as quickly. "It'll be worth waiting for Ben... Now let's get dressed." My breath taken away, I nod, shaken, and after a moment's hesitation, move to my pile of laundry and begin donning the days attire.

After dressing and loading up our packs, we strap them on and make our way down stairs. Once again, as it's early morning, the inn is deserted. However, as soon as we've entered the room and set down our packs, sitting down at an empty table, the little ocelot quickly appears from the kitchen, as if he'd been waiting for us. He looks both relieved to see that we're finally on our way out, and apprehensive at having to deal with both of us yet again.

"Good morning," his voice is controlled, but also with a slight hint of tension in it. "I assume you'd like some breakfast, is there anything special I can get for you?"

"No," Marissa replies, "whatever you have made up will be good... We're in a hurry and would like to get going as soon as possible."

The little cat looks very relieved at this, and scurries back to the kitchen. Watching him dash off, grinning slightly at his comical actions, then turning to regard Marissa, I hesitate slightly and then reach out to take her furry hand in mine. She looks back at me, then smiles warmly at this, reaching out and cupping it with her other hand, surrounding me in her soft grasp.

"You're a good mate Ben... You're very devoted, and I like that."

Seeing me beaming at this, she continues, "I'm sorry about turning you down back there... I almost got stuck here for a rather long time, and I'd just like to get out of this town as quickly as we can..."

"I guess I understand Marissa," my voice soft and a little self-conscious. "Just as long as we can be together enough after this..."

Giggling slightly, she responds "of course we will... Your eagerness is enjoyable, and you're a very good lover with me..."

Blushing and beaming simultaneously, I'm relieved that we're alone in the inn. "Thank you... and I hope we can be happy these next few weeks together..."

Squeezing my hand gently, "it'll be nice traveling with you... I don't know what we'll run into out there, but I'm glad I'll have you with me..."

Before long, the innkeeper returns with our food, interrupting our quiet time together. Setting our plates down on the table, along with a pitcher of fruit drink, and a couple of drinking bowls, he quickly departs. However, before leaving, he casts a strange look at us, surprised by our closeness, maybe a little angry that this funny-looking alien could win the love of such a beautiful woman, and definitely jealous that my fighting prowess had brought us together. Feeling sorry for the little cat and all that he's been through, I try and avert my gaze from him; Marissa simply ignores his stare.

Eating the simple meal in silence, just enjoying each other's presence, we're soon finished. As soon as we're done, the innkeeper returns, eager to have us on our way. "Will that be all, is there anything else you want?"

"No, we'll be on our way now," Marissa answers, retrieving several more coins from her pocket. It seems to be more than she gave him two days ago, and as she hands it to him his face lights up with astonishment. "You've been a good host to us... This should help with the cost of what was broken in the fight..."

"Thank you ma'am," he stammers in surprise, "if you ever come this way again, we'll make sure to have a room for you..." Bowing slightly and appreciatively, he turns and heads back out of sight, with Marissa grinning as she watches him leave.

Donning our packs again, the weight comes as a small surprise to me, my back having enjoyed yesterdays vacation from it. Adjusting the pack, it soon settles in though, and we're off on the journey once more.

Walking out of the inn, coming outside into the warmth of the sunny and clear morning, I look up, smiling at the beautiful day before us. There are several felenzi out, going about their daily lives, and as we walk by they give us curious looks, from a distance of course. As with Marissa's hometown, nobody bothers us, and it feels rather bizarre to be watched as we make our way down main street.

People hush as we walk by, staring at us, but of course not directly so. It seems everyone has heard of us, and decides it's wise to leave us alone. It's strange, to be revered like this, but it's also an ego boost, trying to keep my grinning at a minimum. The people we walk by step aside, giving us a wide girth, and averting their eyes, that is until we've passed, then they usually turn their heads slightly, watching us out of the corners of their eyes.

I'm tempted to take advantage of the situation, but it starts to make me feel a little nervous myself, and getting out of here quickly would be nice. About halfway through town, we pass a black smith's shop, and who should be there but our cougar friend from the day before. Walking by, trying to pick up our pace slightly, as my pulse begins to quicken, he turns and notices us leaving town.

For what seems like an eternally-long moment, his gaze is locked on me, as his cold yellow eyes regard me with steely anger. Feeling my pulse race, I'm sure this will come to another fight, and with everyone watching, the chances of them ganging up on us are pretty good. However, a moment later, his expression seems to be tempered with signs of respect, fear, and resignation, as he nods ever so slightly, dropping his eyes back to his work. Stifling my sigh of relief, 'I hope we can get out of here quickly... I don't want any more close calls like that.'

Nearing the edge of town, there are still a few people watching this weird spectacle approaching them, pulling off to the side, out of our way. There is one woman, a tall calico cat, wearing a simple country dress, trying to pull her small daughter back towards her. Her grip comes loose though, and the little girl, her fur marked with large gray and white patches, wearing a pink dress, comes barreling towards me with youthful speed and vigor, oblivious to the perceived danger and the onlookers terrified stances.

Everyone is frozen in place, unable to move as they watch the scene unfold before them with apprehensive expressions painted across their muzzles; not daring to confront the situation, fearing what I might do to the kitten. Nobody is near enough to intercept her anyway, even if they could, and within moments she comes to a stop before us. Looking up at me, her eyes wide with curiosity, she innocently asks "who are you?"

Her simple question breaks the tension for me, and I feel a smile creeping across my face. However, noticing the frightened onlookers, I have to act quickly, before they decide to do something to stop this threat and things get messy.

Bending down slowly, so as not to offset the balance of my pack, I come down on one knee and smile at her, looking at her face to face. The people in the crowd are watching us nervously, but my stance seems to have the intended less-threatening effect on them. "Hello there," smiling at her, "I'm from a long ways away... I'm a human."

"A hooman?" she asks, uncertain, mispronouncing the word the way kids often will.

"That's right," giggling slightly at her pronunciation, "we're on an important journey..."

"Really?" her eyes growing even wider, looking rather cute.

"Yes... and we're magicians too... Would you like to see a trick?" She nods eagerly at this; glancing around the crowd, they seem nervous at this prospect, but putting on a gentle smile seems to set them slightly at ease. Then turning back to the girl, slowly bringing up my right hand, while my left one still carries some of my weight, I hold the palm in front of her. Then slowly curling my fingers, the familiar glowing ball materializes.

At this, her eyes grow wider still, gazing at me with awe. As the ball begins to rise above my hand, hovering a few inches above it, I concentrate harder and faint colored swirls begin to appear. Giggling in obvious delight, she watches the swirls slowly rotate as the small sphere turns in front of her. Letting her watch it for a couple of minutes, delighted by her attention, I finally ask "do you wanna see something really neat?"

She nods enthusiastically, "okay then, reach up and touch it and see what happens." Glancing at me with uncertainty, she hesitates. "It's okay, it won't hurt you... It'll be a neat surprise." My smile seems to reassure her, so she slowly reaches up, and tentatively touches the glowing sphere with a single finger, her claw slightly extended.

As she breaks the surface, there is a slight audible pop, much like that of a soap bubble, and the sphere dissolves in a small flash of many colors. Where as before I had quickly dispersed the energy, I use more control over it here, making it last a little longer, so the effect is not as bright and easier to see. She jumps back slightly, emitting a small squeak, but then quickly giggles at me. "Oooh... That was neat... Can you do it again... Please?"

"No, we need to get going... and your mother is worried about you... Maybe if we come to town again... but for now you should go back to your mother."

She looks a little disappointed, but is still rather excited. After a quick "thank you," she darts back to her mother, who is looking frazzled, but much relieved. Getting back up on my feet, with a little help from Marissa, so I don't lose my balance, we then continue walking.

Passing by the woman, the little girl is excitedly talking to her. "Mommy... he said he was a hooman... and he was a magician and everything... Did you see the trick he did for me..." Looking at the woman, she regards me with a mixture of relief, surprise, awe, and perhaps even a little bit of interest. As we're walking by, I nod briefly, smiling at her, and she returns a smile of her own, which is relieved and confused.

A few minutes later, we've pretty much left the town and the crowd behind us. Looking over at me warmly, Marissa speaks, "Ben, that was sweet, what you did for that kitten..."

Smiling back at her, "well, she was a cute kid, and I figured that would be the best way to make everyone at ease... It's nice having an appreciative audience too..."

Walking onward, feeling rather happy, we continue down the road, walking through the cleared countryside. We pass a few farm houses, seeing a few people out working in their fields, but nobody is really near enough to see us walk by, and we all go about our business. It feels good to be back on the road again, especially on such a beautiful day like this, and with such a beautiful traveling companion.

After about an hour and a half, we start to approach the wilderness once again, as we prepare to leave the large clearing around the town behind us. Passing the last farm house, which seems to be momentarily empty, nearing the edge of the lightly-packed woods, I notice something a little startling. "Marissa, the road stops up ahead... what are we going to do?"

"Yes it does Ben, this was the last town in this direction... This area hasn't really been explored too much yet, it's the open wilderness... Which is one reason that the source of the disturbances coming from out there is rather distressing..."

Hearing her say this sends a couple of small shivers along my spine. Always before we had been near the road, which even out in the wilderness had helped give some semblance of civilization. But now we were about to leave even that last vestige behind us. "I don't know about this... What are we gonna do now? I mean, how are we gonna find our way? And I don't know if I like the idea of wandering around in the woods like this..."

"Hmmm... Yeah, it is a little unsettling... but things will be okay... You've shown that you're very good at fighting, and your magic is coming along well too... Not to mention that I'll be there to back you up... We can follow the river for the most part... Then when we get close enough, we should be able to find our way there using our magic and intuition to guide us."

"I guess so... it's still a little weird though..." Walking a little further, the road slowly vanishes beneath our feet, blending in with the grass of the field. Walking the last one hundred feet or so, angling over to the small river which had been following the road a short distance away, we're soon confronted with the wall of trees.

Stopping briefly, looking into the wilderness, it's not so bad. The trees are fairly lightly packed, and the sun easily shines down between the branches. Actually this looks kind of nice; yes it's still a bit foreboding, but she's right, we can take care of ourselves. 'I know we could handle anybody that came after us, hell, we were doing a pretty good job of it at the inn... but what if it isn't a somebody, but a something? Who knows what we're gonna run up against when and if we finally reach what we're looking for?'

Shuddering ever so lightly at this, trying to push these thoughts away, I glance at Marissa. She too seems just the slightest bit nervous. 'Oh come on Ben, this isn't like when you were a kid and you'd let yourself get all scared over your imagination... why don't you imagine all the fun you're gonna have with Marissa instead...'

Slightly forcing a smile at her, I break the silence. "Well, I guess we should be going... It looks kind of nice... It should be a nice change of pace..."

Smiling back at me, with just the remnants of uneasiness darting in her eyes, she nods and leads the way. Following the river, which is really more of a stream here, only about three feet wide and about a foot deep, we walk along the left bank and head into the woods. I feel slight pangs of apprehension, but these are fleeting; once we're deep enough into the woods so glancing over my shoulder doesn't allow me to see the clearing anymore, I become used to the surroundings.

Taking the time to look around and enjoy the view of nature spread out all around us, I glance upward toward the canopy of leaves. The deep-blue sky is still visible overhead, peaking through crevices in the light-green roof, and the ample sunlight filtering through it looks quite beautiful. 'Hmmm... this is a nice setting for a romantic picnic...' Smiling to myself, 'I'll have to see what happens at lunch...'

Finally feeling the last bit of uneasiness leave me, I continue to gaze at the scenery around me and after a few minutes make another interesting discovery. 'The leaves... There's none of them lying on the ground...' Normally in the forest, as I'd known from several solitary walks during the summer and fall, there would always be some remnants of the last fall's dead leaves lying around, covering the forest floor. However, here there was none of that, the woods was simply short grass and earth.

Pondering this briefly, I muse 'of course... She already told me they don't have any real changes in the seasons... So why would they ever have any fall? That's kind of weird... Neat in a way... It must be nice to have it summer all the time... but I think I might miss the fall... It always has been my favorite season...'

Breaking my reverie, Marissa lightly brushes my shoulder. Turning to look at her, while still walking our steady, yet easy pace, she smiles and asks, "it's pretty out here isn't it Ben?"

"Mmmm... yes it is... I think this is going to turn out to be a nice part of the trip..."

Smiling, we continue the journey in a quiet, shared silence, just soaking up the view and each other's gentle presence. As we walk along, I'm a little disturbed to find my now happy thoughts becoming muddled once again.

It seems so nice to finally be with Marissa. All of the tension of the past week had been spent last night as we had lost ourselves in one another's warm embrace. The sex had been exotic, wonderfully new, and exhilarating; feeling her soft, furry body against my smooth skin had been electric, and she also seemed to find the experience very novel and enjoyable. I definitely couldn't wait for a chance to repeat it with her.

It was more than just sex though, no it wasn't just that I wanted to get her into bed just because she was so exotic and exciting, there was more to it. Thinking things over, I realize that from the first day or so, I'd been drawn to her personality too; she was a wonderful friend, and an even better lover.

It feels so nice to be involved with someone again. This had been the end of a rather long dry spell for me, having been alone for what seemed like quite awhile. It always seemed hard finding someone, and now here she was, and she seemed almost perfect, as if we were made for one another. This is where things started getting a little confusing.

'What's going to happen when this whole thing is over? What am I going to do?' I wonder silently, as my elated mood starts to cloud over. Even walking with her through the peaceful wilderness, glancing at her beautiful form next to me, my mind becomes jumbled with troubling thoughts.

'We've got another three weeks together, but then what happens after that? I really can't stay here can I? I mean, she's wonderful, and this promises to be one of the best relationships I've had... but could I really live here? Could I give everything up to stay with her? Could I really settle down and live in that little town with her? It's a nice vacation, but I'm already missing a lot of modern conveniences, and what about not being able to see anyone else from Earth again... Is she worth that?'

'Not to mention how all of the other felenzis are going to react toward me... I certainly doubt that the rest of the townspeople would go for that... Having an alien mating with one of their only mages? Would I have to repeat the scene with the tiger and his friends a bunch of times, fighting for my right to keep her?'

'I've really enjoyed our time together... and I'm looking forward to more of it... but is she really worth leaving everything behind? What happens if it doesn't work out several months down the road, then what do I do? Hell, what happens when she decides she wants to have children?'

Feeling my thoughts spiraling further downward, the doubt within me grows as we walk along in silence. She glances at me from time to time, and doing my best to smile at her, I manage to keep her from suspecting anything; at least if she does have any suspicions, she keeps them to herself and leaves me to continue pondering my thoughts alone. Left to my own musings, my thoughts continue to become even more troubled.

'What if she doesn't even feel that strongly for me? I mean here I am thinking this could be the love of my life... and worrying about us being tragically separated... and what if she just thinks it's a novel diversion? How do I know if they even fall in love here? Hell, they could just choose mates whenever it suits them, with no emotional connection what so ever...'

'She said she enjoyed her frolics with the cats in the bar,' and thinking of this gives me a slight chill. I had pretty much accepted it, given her explanation, but still, thinking of it was kind of unsettling. 'She said that mating with them was enjoyable, even though she had wanted to tear their tails off... Yes, it was all because of their scent... but what if that's what relationships are to them? What if it's all just pure animalistic urges, with no feelings involved?'

'She said she liked mating with me... Of course she did... Just think of how new and exciting I was to her... Especially since she wasn't overpowered by a male's scent and could experience things fuller... but what if that's all it meant to her, what if it was just something that she found really pleasant, but will eventually get tired with and move on to something else?'

'Of course she's been nice to me, and has seemed warm and caring... but what if that's all just casual, and sex just isn't part of that? She's already shown that she may not be as interested as I am... Why else would she have turned me down this morning? Is this going to turn out to just be something at her convenience? She seemed to be having fun as I watched her groom herself this morning... Maybe she just likes the idea of having a male so willing to do things for her?'

My thoughts continue on like this for a few hours, walking beside her in silence. Of course I try and tell myself how ridiculous some of these worries are, and how I always over-analyze things anyway, but of course rational and emotional thoughts are always rather disconnected.

Finally we stop for lunch, having found a small clearing, carpeted with lush, soft grass and lying near the stream. Taking off our packs, we both kneel before the stream and scoop handfuls of water into our mouths. Watching her as she laps at the liquid in her cupped hands, while the muscles of her legs and back are accented by her stance, my mind soars briefly, taking in her full beauty. Unfortunately, these wondrous thoughts are tempered by the gloomy uncertainties still lurking in my mind.

Taking the food out of our packs, and gathering some fresh fruit from a nearby tree, we settle down to a simple and satisfying meal. While I'm eating, sitting there on the warm grass, with my back propped against my pack, she crawls softly over to sit down beside me, leaning against me. All of my troubled thoughts have left me confused, and her actions startle me a bit, as I feel my body tighten up ever so lightly.

Looking up at me, the smile washed of her face, replaced with a look of worried confusion, her voice is soft and caring, yet also bewildered. "Ben, what's wrong?" her eyes focusing deeply into the depths of mine.

"I don't know Marissa... I'm just worried..."

"About what?" her voice even softer as one of her arms snakes behind me, caressing my side and pulling her even closer to me. This sudden movement startles me, as I feel my body tighten momentarily against her touch, then relaxing after a couple of seconds.

She looks even more concerned at this, but continues to hold me, looking deep into my eyes, waiting for my response. Hesitating momentarily, then letting out an audible breath, my voice is heavy and a bit nervous. "I'm worried about what's gonna happen with us? If we are going to be mates... then what will we do at the end of this trip? I might be going back to Earth in a few weeks, and where does that leave us?"

"Oh Ben... I've thought of that too... It worries me, but I don't want it to ruin the time we have together now... When it does come time do decide, then we'll have to deal with it ... but please don't deny us this until then... Please be my mate while we're together..."

Looking into her deep green eyes, I want that oh so much, if only I can be sure of a few things. "I'm also confused about some other things too..." She waits, expectantly, as I get momentarily lost in the depths of her gaze. Then finally continuing, "Marissa... I don't know how to say this... but I'm worried about what mating means to you... To most humans, it's very important, and it's something that's usually only done between people who really care deeply for one another..."

"So to me, it means a lot... It's something special that I wouldn't share with just anyone... but with you... I mean felenzi in general... I'm worried that it doesn't mean as much... Do you feel as strongly for me as I do for you, or are you just interested in the physical side of things?"

Reacting quickly to this blow, her pupils widen, as her ears jump straight up; a look of anger flashes across her face, calming quickly to reflect deep hurt. Dropping her hand from my side, she pulls away from me, her eyes becoming a little cold all of a sudden. "Ben, how can you say that?" her voice is shaking slightly, surprised and wounded. "Of course I care about you... I thought I've shown that this past week... Mating with you was wonderful, and I though you enjoyed it too..."

"I did... but everything's happened so fast that I'm still confused on a couple of things... I've been falling in love with you from the beginning, as soon as I got over my fear and got to know you... I was hoping that things would happen differently, but when it did happen it was just a lot different from what I'd planned..."

"The first time, the morning after the three males got you... it was confusing afterwards... Then last night it was a lot better... Well it was wonderful It had been awhile for me, and it felt very nice, and was very fulfilling for me... emotionally as well as physically... That's what confuses me... To me it meant a lot to finally be with you like that, but I don't know what it meant to you... Was is just something that was very pleasurable for you, or did it mean something more?"

She doesn't answer for a few moments, and her silence seems to last for an eternity, as her eyes study me, piercing into the depths of my soul. Finally when she does talk, her voice is troubled. "Of course it meant something to me Ben... Not only was it wonderful to mate with you and experience things so new and differently... but it felt good to be able to give you what you were longing for... and to do it because I really wanted to... It also made me realize how much I really do care about you..."

"I'd felt us growing closer through the journey, but never thought we'd become mates since you were a human and all... I'm glad things happened the way they did... It made me realize that you're not all that different afterall... Then you come and say something like this... What made you think of that? Haven't I been acting caring to you?"

Feeling once again like such a jackass, I stare back at her, as her eyes begin to glisten slightly. "I don't know... I feel bad for even thinking of it... but it's just that you can act so differently than humans do... and I wasn't sure... Knowing that mating is usually triggered by the male's scent, I didn't know if that meant it was just purely physical for you..."

"But we mated last night without me being under the influence of anyone's scent... and it was my idea... I told you I wanted to do it... and with you..."

"I know, but..." I manage to stammer.

"I chose you Ben because I wanted to be with you... because I care about you... I guess with humans, mating is a bit more emotional than with us... but that doesn't mean we don't care about our partners... True, sometimes, like with the males back at the bar, there are instances where we will mate for the pure physical aspects of it... That doesn't mean it's always like that Ben... When we're with someone we know well, mating means much, much more..."

"But, with the males scent... doesn't that mean you could be made to mate with anybody?" again this sends tiny shivers through me.

"Yes, and sometimes people will abuse that... but most of the time it's with people who we know... Even so, that doesn't mean we aren't capable of caring for our partners... There are two kinds of mating Ben... Sometimes it's purely for the pleasure of it... and others are meant to be a deeper experience... like with you..."

This sends a pang of guilt straight through my heart, piercing it like a cold iron spike. Perhaps noticing my grimace, she continues. "We might be different from humans, but we still have a lot of the same feelings Ben... Just because we have different mating practices doesn't mean I don't care for you... We can sometimes have multiple partners, but we can still have feelings for all of them... Usually on different levels though... Most of them are just close acquaintances, whom it's nice to share the experience with, but it's not a permanent arrangement... Then there are life mates... they are someone that means the most to you... and when you find them, it's the deepest relationship..."

Letting out another deep breath, "so where do I fit in?"

"I don't know just yet... I'm a little worried about what will happen when this is all over with... but I want to give this a try... You're definitely more than just someone I'd mate with a few times just for the fun of it all... Forgetting just how wonderful a lover you are, and how unique it is mating without a male's powerful scent present... You still mean a lot to me... In this short time, we've become close... and you fought for me too... I can't forget that..."

Pausing just briefly, she finishes. "So even if you aren't a life mate, that doesn't mean you couldn't become one... You may end up leaving, so that could affect things... but also, there is a good possibility that we could become a lot closer in the next few weeks... Will you please give this a chance?"

I can't believe what this beautiful female is saying, what a change it is having someone so smitten over me. My ego soars, but again I can't believe what a jerk I've been, and how I could have thought those things about her. Looking into her eyes, which are still uncertain and needy, I smile gently and then reach down to take her hand in both of mine. "Of course I will Marissa... I'm sorry for not understanding... It's just that everything has been so different here, and I didn't know for sure how you felt..." Then, my voice becoming even softer, "can you forgive me?"

Her face brightens visibly at this, the spark returning to her eyes and a smile beginning to creep its way across her muzzle. "Oh Ben... You really are a nice person... I want to have the chance to get as close to you as possible... so we're going to work this out..."

Then, taking one of my hands in hers, she slowly brings it to her muzzle. Sniffing it briefly, she smiles at me and begins to lick my fingers, as small purrs escape her open mouth. This simple act lifts my spirits, and all at once everything is going to be okay. All of the uncertainty, all of the misunderstanding, all of the hurt disappears between us as she slowly laps my tender flesh.

After a minute or so, I gently pull away, she looks startled at this, but flashing her a reassuring smile calms her. "Don't worry... I just want to do something for you... Let me make things up to you..."

A peaceful smile returns to her face upon hearing this, and she lets me lean her back so she's reclining against my pack. Then crawling down to her feet, looking at her lying before me, I reach down and begin to untie the laces of her boots. Undoing their bounds, I soon liberate both her lovely feet from their confinement. With the cool breeze gently blowing over her exposed flesh, she smiles up at me as I gently take one of her feet in my hands.

Looking down at the black "boot" marking of her foot, I can only think of how adorable it looks, and still how exotic her digitrade feet appear to me. Slowly stroking her dark fur, enjoying once again the feel of its softness, her smile widens, as her eyes close slightly and several more purrs emanate from deep within her. It feels so good to be making her happy like this.

Bringing her foot slowly up to my face, while continuing to caress it, I bring it close to my nose and take a gentle breath in. Again her scent is clearly present here, musky and with traces of animal to it, but definitely pleasant and in its own way somewhat arousing. 'And she says that her scent is even stronger when she's in heat... I can't even imagine what that would be like,' smiling to myself.

"Marissa?" she opens her eyes a bit at this and regards me warmly. "What is my scent like for you?"

"Hmmm... well, it's weird Ben... If I was just to smell it, it wouldn't have any effect on me... Now with a male felenzi's scent... when I smell that, there's no helping it... I want to mate, and I'm very agreeable to anything they would ask of me... With you it's different... there's no physical effect like that... but it definitely does something for me... I guess just knowing it's your scent, and how I feel about you, well it becomes very likable... and in it's own way it does help to arouse me..."

"It's the same way with me... If I were to just smell your scent and not know where it came from... well, it would smell nice... but it wouldn't really do anything for me... but having it be connected with you... and looking at you while I'm smelling it... that makes the connection to me... It's not an all-powerful drive, but it certainly adds to the mood..."

We both smile at this, and then taking another deep whiff of her beautiful aroma, I tentatively flick my tongue out across the bottom of her foot. The texture of her fur against my tongue is still a little weird, but I'm getting used to it; it's quite exotic. The taste is interesting and rather appealing, just as exciting as her scent; it's something that will take awhile to get fully used to, but I'm glad I'm trying it.

Her purrs increase as soon as I begin these ministrations, and that alone makes it worthwhile, knowing how much she is enjoying this. Running my tongue gently along the bottom of her foot, going slowly so as not to dry it out, my senses are overwhelmed by essence. Moving to her toes, I glide over the first one, delighting in surprise as my tongue makes brief contact with one of her claws. It's almost fully retracted, so I barely touch it; it doesn't scratch at all, just sort of makes its presence known, which just seems so novel.

Lightly forcing my tongue between her toes, lapping at her tender flesh there, I'm soon orchestrating deep and wonderful purrs from her. Paying close attention to each of her four toes, I slowly work over every inch of her foot, leaving her fur damp with a slight coating of my saliva.

Finally taking a few last, slow laps along the entire length of the bottom of her foot, I withdraw and gently lower her foot to the ground. My tongue is a little dry, but it was well worth it; her exquisite flavor still dances along my taste buds as I lick my lips a few times.

She opens her eyes again as I move to lie down beside her. Reaching out to stroke her back, she brings her own arm around me and smiles warmly.

"Things are okay now, aren't they?"

"Mmmm... yes they are Ben."

With that she pushes closer to me, cuddling her warm body against mine. Then pressing her furry cheek against mine, she slowly rubs it against me, purring softly once again. Moving slowly downward, keeping her fur in contact with me all the way, she brings her muzzle down to the base of my neck, where she begins to nuzzle.

Licking me gently there, I feel a few gasping moans pour forth from my open mouth. Her mouth opens wider and I can feel her hot breath on my skin, tingling my senses, as she presses slowly against me. Then, without warning, pain shoots through me, as her sharp, carnivorous teeth pierce into my tender flesh.

My body goes tense almost instantaneously, as I struggle to get away, my mind flooding with panic. Trying to sit up quickly only forces her jaws tighter around my neck and another bolt of pain stabs through me. Letting out a muted scream, I try and force her off of me, but her jaw is locked onto me and her body weight keeps me pinned.

My hand which had been gently caressing her back is now desperately digging into it, and as my mind screams out in terror, multiple neurons firing at once, I bring it up to her head. Trying to pull her muzzle off of me will be next to impossible, so acting more on impulse than anything else, my hand goes to her ear, giving it a firm smack.

Boxing her ear does the trick, releasing me from her steel grip. As her head comes away from my neck, I fall back on the grass, looking up at her, terrified, confused, and panting heavily. "Dammit Marissa... What the hell's going on?"

My harsh question cuts through her, and her composure shatters; her confused look quickly replaced with one of guilty sorrow. "Ben... I'm sorry..." her voice cracking slightly as her eyes begin to water. "I didn't mean to hurt you... It's a way of showing affection..." By now tears have formed and have begun to trickle down the fur where the side of her muzzle reaches the rest of her face. As she continues, her voice is marked with sobs, her body shaking slightly.

"It's just that... I'm used to doing it to other felenzis... With their fur it takes more strength... I didn't realize your flesh was so tender... Then I got scared and couldn't stop myself... Oh Ben... I'm sorry..."

With that she collapses against me, her head resting on my chest, as her body continues to be wracked by heavy sobs. Momentarily at a loss for what to do, feeling her hurt, only dimly aware of the throbbing in my neck, all my attention becomes focused on helping her, relieving her or her torment. Hesitating only briefly, my hand then goes to gently caress the back of her head, gently stroking her hair.

This helps to calm her, and as a couple of minutes pass, her crying slowly ceases. Looking up at me, she sniffles slightly, regarding me uncertainly with her green eyes. Continuing my soft caresses, I gently state, "it's okay..."

"But... I hurt you... I'm sorry," her voice still cracking lightly.

"Shhh... I know you didn't mean to... It's just another silly mistake..." Then smiling at her, I joke "consider it payback for my blunders..." She smiles at this, and then sniffling again, seems very much relieved. Bringing my hand to her face, I gently touch her cheek, damp with her tears. Stroking her softly, continuing to reassure her, I add "we're still learning about each other... but we can work through times like these."

We stay like this for a few minutes more, as I softly caress her cheek, all of the turmoil seeps away from her; soon she is pressed firmly against me, softly purring. Then realization darts across her face as she quickly lifts her head, startling me slightly. "Oh... I forgot about your neck... It needs healing attention..." Then looking up at me a bit sheepishly, she asks "could I use my tongue first though?"

"Please do..." and with my simple approval, she moves her muzzle to the deep bite wounds. Gently gliding her tongue across the cuts, my skin cries out lightly, but even so, the feel of her slightly-rough tongue gently administrating its attentions to me adds pleasure to the pain.

Lying there, enjoying the melange of sensations as she dutifully attends to my wounds, I close my eyes and fully soak up the entire experience. Soon she brings her fingers up to caress the bite mark and within moments has it healed. Opening my eyes to look at her with adoration, I softly ask "now will you try it again... Please?"

She looks rather surprised at this request. "You want me to do it again... Are you sure?"

"Yes Marissa... Just be more gentle this time... You know how tender I am... so don't break the skin..."

Nodding, she begins to nuzzle the base of my neck once again, slowly licking and warming me with her hot breath. Then feeling her mouth opening wider and her teeth coming down on my flesh once again, I'm momentarily apprehensive, but forcing myself through this, I put my trust completely in her.

Her teeth come in contact with my skin and she begins ever so lightly applying pressure to them, going very slow and cautious. Nearing the breaking point, she backs off slightly, and gently begins to nibble. The sensations are so strange, there is some pressure but no real pain, just slight pricks from the tips of her teeth. This surprises me, but I realize that I'm finding this not only rather interesting, but also a little erotic, as she nibbles at my neck. There's something in having her so close to hurting me, yet holding back that really excites me. Also, the sensations of her teeth lightly exciting the sensitive skin of my neck is actually quite enjoyable.

As I let out another couple of moans, she responds by purring, her chest rumbling deeply against mine. She continues her strange foreplay for a few more minutes before slowly easing up, then pulling away to look once again deeply into my eyes.

"Mmmm... That was wonderful Marissa... It's a nice way to show affection."

"It serves a purpose too... or at least it used to... Just like rubbing our cheeks against someone... It releases some of our scent... Not only is it showing our dedication to our mate, but it's also a sign of trust... Lowering their defenses to us... Knowing we could hurt them, but showing that we don't..."

'Hmmm... marking territory... a show of control... very feline, but also kind of neat in a way... it's not without it's sensual aspects though...' Smiling at her, "will you let me do the same for you then?"

Nodding eagerly at this, she quickly rolls off of me, lying supping and at my disposal. Crawling over toward her, until I'm crouched above her, I bring my mouth down to her neck. Breathing heavily on her fur, she smiles at me and closes her eyes. Then bringing my mouth down to her flesh, I open it and placing my jaw firmly over her, begin to bite down.

This is one of the oddest sensations I can think of, having a mouthful of fur like this, but it's something I could get used to. Biting down, feeling the resistance slightly, I'm a bit unsure of what exactly to do. As if sensing this, she softly instructs, "bite down harder Ben... I can hardly feel it..."

Complying dutifully, she soon lets out a satisfied, "oooh... Yes, right there... Now just take quick, small bites..." Doing this elicits several more purrs from her as her contented smile begins to widen. Nibbling on her like this is very strange, but also very exciting, again it's a whole new area for me.

Continuing like this for a few minutes, my jaw soon becomes tired and I have to ease off. Pulling away and looking down on her, she opens her eyes and grins. "That was very nice Ben... You're a quick learner."

Laying down on my side next to her, I smile and reply, "well, now there's something I'd like to show you... It's one of the ways humans show affection..."

Her eyes lighting up with anticipation, she rolls over to face me, her arm draping over my side. Putting my arm around her, lightly caressing her shoulder blade, I bring my mouth to her muzzle. Kissing her lightly as we'd done before, a single purr escapes her; the sensations of her thin lips and furry jowls are comfortable and familiar.

As she lets herself get lost in the gentle kiss, I lightly begin to force my tongue against her lips. Sensing this she stiffens up lightly; stopping my invasion, I softly caress her back and ease her back into relaxation. Then gently applying pressure again, she parts her lips and lets me in. Feeling my tongue glide against her teeth sends an electric shiver through me, feeling their sharpness lightly prick at me.

Then running along the smooth side of her mouth, she lets out a small purr, getting accustomed to this strange intrusion, discovering its pleasantness. Hearing her audible pleasure pushes me onward, navigating over to her tongue, forcing mine against hers, enjoying the feel of her somewhat abrasive surface against the slippery smooth texture of mine.

Soon she's learned from my example and is gently fighting against me, as our tongues begin to intertwine and wrestle one another. Caught amidst the pleasure of the kiss, our hands are soon roaming up and down each others backs; mine quickly goes to the root of her tail, a region which I love showering attention on. She hikes her hips slightly at this and begins purring louder, her purrs gently vibrating both of us.

Lost in this deep and loving embrace, we continue at this for some time, until I finally pull away. Catching her breath, she pants, "oh Ben... That was wonderful... Nobody's ever done that to me before..."

Smiling at her, I softly reply with a gleam in my eye, "we've still got a lot to learn about one another... and I'm really looking forward to that..."


Copyright 1994, Will A. Sanborn - was1@shore.net